Welcome back to the first annual Cryptid Awards, brought to you by BlurryCam. Before the break, Barbra Banshy won the award for “Loudest Cryptid.” She has been forcibly removed from the studio, and you may now take out your earplugs.
I’m Stan Slinderman, your host. Our final category is “Most Elusive Cryptid.”
The nominees are: Marty Mothman, Nessie McLoch, Chester Chupacabra, Wally Wendigo, Gary Goatman aka The Lake Worth Monster, and Bobby Bigfoot.
Our agents set out to contact these folks with mixed results. They located Gary Goatman on Greer Island. Gary started throwing tires at our agents, so we disqualified him for being rude and too easy to find. Nessie was disqualified due to being a giant fish whom we could not accommodate. Chester told us he “didn’t need no award” and moseyed back to Mexico.
That leaves us with three contestants: Marty Mothman, Wally Wendigo, and Bobby Bigfoot.
And the award goes to Marty Mothman. Unfortunately, Marty is here tonight, which disqualifies him from the category.
So the award goes to Bobby Bigfoot. Bobby, are you here? Good deal. Bobby’s publicist, Tim Burr, is here to accept the award. Let’s give it up for Bobby, wherever he is.
Comments
Be the first to comment.